But how “sexy” are some of your favourite NBA players' games?
Obviously, there is no quantifiable way to determine the “sexiness” of a players game. So for the purpose of this article, let's equate a player's playing style to that of an attractive female celebrity.
“Why does it have to be a female celebrity”, you ask? Because there will be a future column by a 'Bench Gal' addressing the attractive male celebrity equivalent. “Really?”
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
So without further ado, here are the sexiest equivalents to various sexiest NBA Players' games.
Kobe Bryant's game has drawn the tiresome comparisons to Michael Jordan. One can find countless video compilations showing the Five time NBA Champion eerily mirroring the Six time NBA Champion. The debate will always go on forever whether Kobe was “The Godfather 2” to Michael Jordan's “TheGodfather”. But we're not here to compare movies to athletes, the public demands to know. “HOW SEXY IS KOBE BRYANT'S GAME?”
Kobe Bryant's Game is sexy as...
Julia Louis Dreyfuss
Yes, that Julia Louis Dreyfuss. Elaine from Seinfeld. Have you seen her lately? She's ageing like fine wine. And so is Kobe. Kobe even refers to himself as “Vino”. Also, like Julia who would take on different comedic roles to stay relevant, Kobe took measures as well.
When Kobe felt he was losing his vertical, he made a visit to Hakeem Olajuwon and expanded his post game. He kept trying to reinvent himself as a passer, leader and may have possibly got a duel citizenship to Germany .
When Kobe felt he was losing his vertical, he made a visit to Hakeem Olajuwon and expanded his post game. He kept trying to reinvent himself as a passer, leader and may have possibly got a duel citizenship to Germany .
Julia's even funnier than ever. You can get stomach cramps from watching her play the Vice President on Veep" and unnecessarily scrutinize her unequals. Just like how you can have a barrel of laughs when Kobe bashes Smush Parker for no apparent reason.
But you say, last year Mrs. Dreyfuss won an Emmy while Kobe barely played a handful of games. I detract with the fact she actually needs one more Emmy (four total) to equal Kobe Bryant's 5 rings.
The two have adjusted to the times and been successful for more than a decade. Kobe and Julia are different Animals, same Beast.
Tim Duncan will go down as the greatest Power Forward in NBA history. There is no argument any more. He dominated the current greatest basketball player on the planet 2/3 times in the Final Appearances. However, how sexy is Tim Duncan's game?
Tim Duncan's Game is sexy as...
Who's that you say? I do not know. It's just an ordinary, everyday woman.
You're probably thinking, “Tim Duncan, first ballot hall of famer, current 5 time champion game is a “basic chick?”. No, absolutely not. I would never use that offensive term.
Having said that, there is nothing wrong with being basic.
Tim Duncan's game is rooted in the basics. He does not stray from the norm. His teams are uniform and disciplined. Extraordinary people may be the most desired but the ordinary are the ones that get married and live happy.
How many basic couple weddings did you go to this summer? And like Tim Duncan, they are in the end, with all the rings.
Tim Duncan's game is rooted in the basics. He does not stray from the norm. His teams are uniform and disciplined. Extraordinary people may be the most desired but the ordinary are the ones that get married and live happy.
How many basic couple weddings did you go to this summer? And like Tim Duncan, they are in the end, with all the rings.
The word basic is only another word for fundamental. And who's the biggest Fundamental that we know? The defence rests. But not Tim Duncan's defence.
Kevin Durant. Reigning MVP. Speech maker extraordinaire. How Sexy is your game?
Skylar Diggins Sexy.
Is there a more attractive female athlete than Skylar Diggins? Is there a more unguardable shot than Durant's step back fade away?
Is there anyone, Big Homie Drake has a bigger crush on than Skylar Diggins?
Aside from Kevin Durant?
But ladies and gentleman. This comparison has a hidden agenda. You see, you may know Kevin Durant was engaged to current WNBA Player, Monica Wright but was broken off for whatever reason.
This is important because if they had a child, that child could have been a super basketball player with the SEXIEST game.
Whether it be WNBA or NBA. But it was all lost for irreconcilable differences between the couple.
However, all hope is not lost. Skylar Diggins has a boyfriend but for the sake of humanity, his name should not be anything but Kevin Durant!
This is important because if they had a child, that child could have been a super basketball player with the SEXIEST game.
Whether it be WNBA or NBA. But it was all lost for irreconcilable differences between the couple.
However, all hope is not lost. Skylar Diggins has a boyfriend but for the sake of humanity, his name should not be anything but Kevin Durant!
Is this so much to ask? Skylar Diggins plays for the Tulsa, Oklahoma WNBA team which is only an hour and a half driving time from Oklahoma City or 106.1 Miles away. So Kevin and Skylar, get Tinder, set the Discovery Preference to within 106.1 Miles and match up to make this happen. Let's get it on.
One can not make a sexiest game in the game list, without including Lebron James. Arguably the greatest player of his generation and maybe ever.
There were many factors that went into figuring out the sexiness of Lebron James' game. A personality that kept popping up was Rihanna.
No, not due to them possibly having the same sized forehead but because of their undeniable reign on top of their respected trade. However, the fairest comparison to Lebron James' game is none other than...
There were many factors that went into figuring out the sexiness of Lebron James' game. A personality that kept popping up was Rihanna.
No, not due to them possibly having the same sized forehead but because of their undeniable reign on top of their respected trade. However, the fairest comparison to Lebron James' game is none other than...
Oprah Winfrey.
Oh you don't think Oprah's sexy? Imagine going to sleep and waking up to find out you're married to Oprah Winfrey.
Oh you don't think Oprah's sexy? Imagine going to sleep and waking up to find out you're married to Oprah Winfrey.
There is no doubt Cleveland Cavaliers Owner Dan Gilbert felt the same way as Dave Chapelle did when Lebron's Agent told him, "#23 was coming home"
Tune in next time, when we ask the question, “Derrick Rose, are you Goku from Dragon Ball Z?”
- Budda Perera
