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“I'm just trying not to be in the newspaper.” If there's one quote you don't want posted online, forget the newspapers, that has to be up there with “I thought she was 18!”
Detroit Pistons' forward Greg Monroe was stopped by police on February 13th of this year because of a defective light.
Turns out he was drunk as all hell and arrested.
The police said to him after he told them he was a Piston: “You play for the Detroit Pistons? Unless you told people that are going to tell people, we don't tell people.”
Well, we see how that worked out. Worse than being well known and arrested for drunk driving has to be the fact that Monroe pissed himself while being booked.
I mean, come on with the come on!
With the terrible record they had last season (29W – 53L) he should've just lied and said he played for the Titans.
Despite going 'number one' on himself there are a few things that he could have done that would have been worse. Not many, but there are some. I was gonna say wear a hoodie but I'll be damned if he isn't wearing one in his mugshot. Here are a few worse ways he could've handled being arrested.
“Don't You Know Who I Am?!”
This is the battle cry of the entitled asshole. Thankfully he didn't shout that because he would have ended up on the ground faster than a vegetable after being placed in my mouth. Thinking that you will get preferential treatment because of who you are is what people who also cut in line say. Don't be those people (even though secretly if I ever get a chance to say it you bet your ass I will!).
“I Can Get You Tickets To A Game.”
Back in the day you could bribe cops all day long. I learned that watching movies. But a player for Detroit offering tickets to one of their games is like a Laker handing out free passes to the beach or a season pass to the WNBA.
“I Can't Go To Jail.”
I wonder if this line has ever worked since I've heard people say it so many times. There is no cop alive that will go “Oh, alright. I can see that this is rough on you. Just get home safe, okay?” Hell, no! I wonder what jail is like when you're 6'11”. I mean, damn. I doubt they even make prison outfits that size. This fool would be wearing Capri pants and belly shirts no matter what.
Or...
He could have crapped himself. I'm already mad that it took this long for me to find out that anyone, let alone someone who if they were in the bible would be classified as a giant, pissed himself while being arrested and this is the first I'm hearing of it. Saying that you don't want it in the papers means that it needs to immediately be put in the papers!
